A story within a story. Sitting with pen to paper, writing about the power that I tap into when I play energetically with others, suddenly out of seemingly nowhere my mind found its way into a cut scene, a story of a very different kind. A 5 second download of vivid images, some of them static, some moving, which has taken me days to capture in a way that can even begin to be conveyed to others.
I know not yet how to fully introduce this slice of my inner world, so, if I may, I’m simply going to dive right in. Welcome…
I found myself in a cavern. Transported there by my own imagination. It was not a place that I had ever truly been, and yet it was so familiar that I knew precisely where I was, immediately. A rich, deep, blood red cave, the walls gently pulsing with life. Looking closely out of the corner of my eye I could make out the occasional horizontal off white bar, a hint of the structure holding this cave in position.
The solid thud-thud, thud-thud, thud-thud of a heartbeat, resonating across the living floor, spongy capillaries forming a curious shagpile like carpet across the surface of the cave. And yet, the source of the noise was nowhere to be seen. I followed the vibrations to a box, of sorts. Hastily put together and yet somehow remaining intact, as it swelled and contracted again with every pulse. I had found what I was looking for.
The object of my quest was covered in layers of protection. Too many to see what was underneath. I saw the layers as planks of wood, hammered randomly across one another, as if frantically and urgently blocking out a dangerous beast or a zombie invasion. A piece of freshly sawn wood lay alongside; perhaps a sign of a recent attack, as I investigated the construction.
It appeared haphazard and rushed, with big cartoon-like nails only half hammered home, some bent and misshapen, patching up holes and gaps in the layers underneath. As I gradually worked my way through, prising and wrenching them off with a crowbar, hurling them into a pile behind me, more and more layers were exposed, yet somehow the package encasing that soft, beautiful, tender heart never got any smaller. Like a digital image of a fractal endlessly expanding, removing the outer layers simply allowed the inner ones to grow and develop, to take up more space.
I reached a crescendo, and the layers of constant growth ceased. The last planks were pulled away and I was through. Marvelling at this prized possession in all its wonder and glory, it pulsed bigger and bolder in gratitude, a thank you for being released from its wooden prison and allowed to expand. Swelling outwards, pulsing as it grew, it filled the chest cavity with a warm and tender glow, finding a new resting place and making itself at home.
I could not leave this core essence unprotected in its current state, it had been encased for so long; it was not used to this bigger existence and would need time to adjust. So I got to work with the cast off timber, building a larger frame around it. I worked with precision as I built the fresh casement, careful not to damage the precious cargo. My hammer drove home the nails into a good, solid frame. The structure was strong yet allowed for flex. Pine cladding could be added if life called for it, or soft drapes, perhaps. Whatever level of protection the owner felt they needed. I stepped back and admired my handiwork, beaming with joy and delight at witnessing that resplendent heart radiating happily in its new home, before raising my hand in goodbye, and leaving the vision.
What just happened? I said to myself as I switched back into reality. That feels…
Just sit with it for a while, my inner guidance said, with a smile. Just sit with it for a while; savour it, enjoy it, and see how it lands.