One of my clients died recently. When I first met her, she was spirited and sweary, would often have conversations about her life and the crazy things she and her husband got up to over the years. She gradually deteriorated over time, so slowly that you didn’t always realise things were changing until you looked back and realised what she used to be capable of and now wasn’t. In her final weeks it was a struggle to get her to eat anything, her favourite food became corned beef (I do not know if it always was a favourite) and so corned beef sandwiches and corned beef hash became a regular feature. Her muscles were breaking down and her bones were becoming uncomfortable. She was unable to follow a conversation, but was still responsive to some things (opinions over certain people, running jokes with her husband) so you could see she was still there underneath it all. She was sleeping more and more.
The last day that I saw her alive I had the honour of caring for her. Myself and a colleague cleaned her and moved her onto an inflatable pressure relieving mattress, and while she was not visibly awake I talked her through everything that was happening. It felt like looking after Tansy again, when I would respectfully tell her everything that was happening to her as I was carrying it out. There was a nervous energy in the room when her husband left, and it noticeably relaxed and became happier when he returned. I was able to tell her husband this, I don’t know if he was able to take it in. As we left I had the urge to go and say goodbye, I could hear she was awake and talking to her husband, but I didn’t.
The next day, she came and talked with me. I was washing up and suddenly felt her presence, she told me that her soul was at peace and she was leaving, and thanked me for everything that I’d done. At this point I was unaware that she had already died, I didn’t learn this until the next day. I guess this means her soul hung around for a short while after she passed away. She died in familiar surroundings and her guides were there waiting for her, so it did not take long for her to understand what was happening. My heartspace is growing as I write and think about her. I think it was a good death, at the end.
Much love.